Family

Many of the bully programs being used in the US today discuss the problems of bullying, provide information that is already known, however they offer no solutions to manage it.  They discuss what is happening to kids but not how to implement these strategies to manage it or what to do when it actually occurs.

This is like going to the doctor because you know you are sick and when you get there the doctor says, “yes, I can see you’re not feeling well, you need to take better care of yourself,” then sends you home, without being told EXACTLY what that means or what to do.

This is why I have researched all of the anti-bully programs in the nation, why I contacted schools and spoke to their administrators, educators, teachers, students, the bystanders that watch it occur, spoke to bullies themselves and their targets, and spoke to their families and parents who have survived and some who have not survived being bullied, before we developed the right formula and sequence to help schools MANAGE BULLYING.

What I have found was interesting.  The educators and administrators with kids in the school systems are more proactive then the ones who do not have children in the schools, and the ages of the educators, teachers and administers now are much younger than in the past.

The one thing they agreed on was their dissatisfaction of the current bully programs they were using.  They either did not have the confidence in what they have tried for a few years, were not getting support needed to be successful not only from their own school but from the parents of their students.

The programs that say they will stop bullying are not being truthful, most schools that settle for a bully free zone compromise their student’s safety because they should be striving for BULLY FREE SCHOOL!  That is our goal – and should be yours.

Below are the 8 individual categories that EVERY bully management or anti-bully program need to be addressing, and I am sharing with you our proven formula for success in managing conflict and crisis within schools across the country.

Step 1

Create awareness – this is done in a lot more ways than just telling people to be aware – which is something I believe MANY people already know it is happening and how dangerous it is.  We can ensure everybody understands the definition with their roles and responsibilities are when they witness bullying, how to manage bullying and how to respond to bullying throughout your school year.

Step 2

Identify bullying – this means you have to define your bullying categories because some bullying situations cross over into criminal acts that should not be taken lightly.  So after we’ve identified all the different ways a person can be bullied, this not only reinforces your awareness but also identifies the problems that exists in the first place.  Without being able to properly identify it managing it becomes impossible.

Step 3

Developing prevention strategies – saying that you’re preventing bullying is more than just having a report in place to document it when it occurs – that doesn’t prevent the situation from occurring does it?  After you develop awareness and identify bullying, understand your prevention strategies start at HOME, they are MANAGED in the classroom, and are SUPPORTED by the commitment the school makes by outlining the roles and responsibilities of their teachers and parents work together.  If we do not provide guidance on prevention strategies then we cannot be shocked on how our children, teachers and parents will respond to bully related incidents.

Step 4

Develop response strategies – these are based on many things like environment, ages of students, number of students present when the incident occurs, the education and experiences of your teachers and the maturity levels of all parties involved, and the support given from their parents.  Right now these response strategies vary from school to school, city to city and state to state.  Some think a response to bullying is just writing a report or pointing a finger at some kid at school who is getting picked on and saying, “Hey don’t do that,” or just calling their parents or kicking them off the bus or out of the cafeteria.  Response strategies are going to be different between the age groups of the students, they’re also going to define the student’s roles with the roles of their parents and teachers.  Time and time again proves if you do not remain alert, be decisive and have a preplanned response then you’re basing your response on the HOPE nothing will happen.

Step 5

Monitor the situation – this is a critical part of your management strategy and means 3 to 5 days after the bully related incident has been reported and you have gathered all of the possible information, spoken to the students involved and their and parents, you’re going to monitor the progress you took and confirm the action taken was the right action to take.  You will check on the wellness of your students and parents involved.  You will NOT act like it never occurred!

 Step 6

Follow through – in most bully related incidents a follow through NEVER occurs, unless there was sever violence – this is the wrong assumption to make.  Most schools think that because it was reported and a report was taken and they have heard nothing back and all is quiet on the home front so to speak, then they did their job and all is well – WRONG!  Where do you think the phrase came from, “It is quiet before the storm”!  I recommend typically 12 to 15 days after the incident has been reported and addressed to follow-through with all parties involved which is nothing more than contacting each of the parents and students involved, their teachers that responded and ensure their parents have understood what took place and document progress get their levels of satisfaction documented or note any additional information or action that may be required.

 Step 7

Support – this is how to develop, establish and implement the various role playing exercises, identify the support mechanisms at home, work groups in schools and other educational services available and needed within your community.  If you do not support the action you take then your efforts will not see the expected results, and what is happening on the surface can be very misleading.  No child commits terrible acts of violence for a one time incident!

 Step 8

Continuous Education – how to establish long term programs needed for the students, teachers and the parents along with the communities.  Identify the webinars, conferences, develop new programs, create educational videos, instructional DVD’s, write articles, and publish books, web sites, teleconferences, message boards and other training certification programs.  Because bullying effects the entire fabric of the communities these schools are in, continuous education is the only way to improve our performance.

Safety on any level is a shared responsibility – make sure each of you are doing your part!

Are you interested in hosting an anti-bullying program in your school? Call us at 877-690-8230 for more information.

Getting lost in the crowd is easy – not knowing how to manage your safety in large violent crowds can get you killed.

Being able to protect yourself and your family starts with the ability to increase your own level of awareness, educate yourself on what to look for, and understand how to develop prevention strategies for dealing with large crowds in malls.

Being able to protect yourself does not start with the ability to throw a punch or use a weapon. In fact, in many cases, if that is all the training you have had, you have not really been trained to defend yourself.

Incidents of violence in our malls are growing  and can overtake your quickly so you have to be ready to respond to these potentially life-threatening situations.

Our survival motto for this is “Escape first, then Barricade and, as your last resort, Defend you and your family.”

These are 3 fast tips to surviving mall violence and increase your ability to identify danger and enhance your situational awareness.

1. Escape planning:   means you know where they are, and how to get there and where to go when you are there

• Have a discussion with your family on the non-verbal and verbal cues for quickly returning together
• Before you get out of your car select a parking space you can see the entrance of the store
• Be mindful of the cover positions as to avoid running in an open uncovered area to your car (sometime the best route is the most direct route
• This will help you in exiting the area quicker but help with family accountability when selecting a meeting place if things go bad inside the stores
• Select your escape routes when you enter the mall, stores, and restaurants even in the open food court areas. Try to never put yourself into a place without an escape route
• Position yourself in the areas and stores you are in while shopping to see others entering and leaving your area
• If you hear gun shots when moving in the crowd quickly move towards cover. Many times when gun fire is present the people running blindly and in the open are shot.
• If you are standing in front of a large crowd quickly approaching – immediately move to the side of the crowd place your shoulder against a wall with your other hand up and extend it from your body as watch carefully on the best direction to start moving to safety
• Pay close attention to the direction of the crowd. Many times when trapped inside a crowd people tend to move with the crowd and this is dangerous as the only one knowing where the crowd is moving is the people in the front and MANY times these people were triggered by panic and are trying to get away from the people behind them
• If you can GET OUT – DO IT
• If you cannot get out find a safe place to go

2. Barricade strategies:

• Barricading options start with:
  1. Never select a place to hide in unless you can escape from it
  2. Pick a place you can see and hear danger approaching.
  3. Select a place where you can defend yourself.
• Barricade considerations:
  • There is a difference between cluttering and blocking the doorway and barricading an entrance. Also does the door open inwards or outwards
    • Just piling items and objects in front of a door is not necessarily providing you with a barricade
    • Selecting large, solid objects that require strength, time and effort to penetrate the door is barricading the door and stopping bullets like desks, chair, filing cabinets
    • Carrying 12 feet of 550 parachute cord can assist in medical aid and help with door opening outwards, a small 2 oz. tube of superglue and a few coins in the doorway can assist in securing the door itself
    • Identify what are your positioning of cover.  If you hear the sound of a gun, the first thing you should do is immediate get behind cover this is a solid object that would protect you from any bullets coming in your direction – then carefully start to look around for the direction and area of the sound.

3. Defense Tactics for large crowds: 

• Many times when dealing with large crowds the best defense is a SAFE DEFENSE – this means to get to a location until the crowd passes
• If you were unable to get out of the area and have to stay in place until help arrives quickly conduct a visual survey of the immediate area for weapons of availability
• These are items in your immediate area you can use to defend yourself.  Remember when selecting a weapon for defense take into consideration what distance it will give you from the threat; what effort you need to put into using it and what exactly are you trying to accomplish.
• Pick out your “Engagement locations”, rarely is allowing the crowd to enter the room a better option then defending them at the doorway. Plus when you select your engagement location you have the advantage!

Over all safety requires you to remain alert, be decisive and have a pre-planned response and the above strategy of Escape, Barricade and Defense will assist you in doing that.

Have a Happy and Safe New Year

Hello there.

Gary Klugiewicz here.

Vistelar introduced a number of significant changes to our courseware at the recent Beyond Conflict Conference held in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  At last week’s Rockville Centre, NY Police Department Verbal Defense & Influence Instructor Class, Dave Young and I first presented this material.  We introduced the new manuals, workbooks, and PowerPoints.   The material was very well received.

Watch the video below that explains how we now review incidents using the Point-of-Impact 6 C’s of Conflict Management.  This new incident review concept included Context, Contact, Conflict, Crisis, Combat, and Closure to describe how conflict can be prevented and/or managed.  This video also describes how the revised Communication under Pressure Card helps contact professional to manage these conflicts.   Please comment below on your thoughts on my explanation of these changes.

Let’s keep everyone safe.
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Active shooter attacks can be over as fast as they start. Learning how to make tactical decisions under stress and be calm under chaos is something you train for not just read about.

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It was nice to receive confirmation from the teachers around the state of Missouri on how this training prepared them for real world attacks as compared to the other training they attended and watched on PowerPoints and the videos they reviewed.

Understanding how to move in small groups under fire, respond correctly with emergency treatment for gun shot wounds, how to break windows and exit buildings, negotiate hallways and control yourself and your students when lives are on the line.

Training is much more effective when you conduct fire drills rather than fire talks.

I just completed our active-shooter training for teachers and staff members of the high school, middle school, and elementary school in Grandview, Missouri.

All 80 plus teachers and staff complete our online training program and then attended a 3 1/2 hour block of hands-on activities, drills and exercises to educate, inspire and better prepare them for managing the safety of students during an active shooter attack.

We taught them how to manage the 6 C’s of conflict management in the classroom to how not only to improve their safety but enhance communication between teachers, staff, students, and their families.

Everyone did a great job and are now better prepared to respond to an active-shooter event.

Hi There,

Gary Klugiewicz here with another Radio Health Journal audiotape that provides great suggestions for staying positive in what is oftentimes a very negative focused world.

This message shows us how to overcome our focus on negative events by learning how to hardwire happiness.

16-22 Segment 2: Hardwiring Happiness

In Verbal Defense & Influence we spend a great deal of time in our peace stories that stress positive outcomes.

We need to learn how to take the positive events in our life and focus on them.

Please let us know what you think about his lesson in the comment section below.

Good morning.

This is Gary Klugiewicz.

This week Coach Lindsey’s quote discussed the difference between looking and seeing.

WHEN YOU ARE LOOKING AT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE, DO YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SEEING?

What is the difference between taking a quick photo of the person and situation versus taking a video of the person and situation. The long term “seeing” of the person and situation allow you to examine the person’s words, tone, and other non-verbals, as well as, the context of situation in greater detail allowing you to “see” more fully what is actually going on. Merely taking a quick photo of the person and situation doesn’t allow you to do accomplish this level of understanding. As we like to say, proper response begins with remaining alert and to remain alert, you need to “pay attention.”

Watch Coach Lindsey’s video on this topic and comment below.

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Greetings to my Fellow Americans on the Fourth of July 2016,

This is Gary Klugiewicz.

The Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays. Its usually warm in Wisconsin by this time. The weather coupled with a three day weekend that can be spent with family and friends makes for a great getaway from the stressors and conflict of the real world.

It is also a great time to remember who we are, how we got here, and what we need to prevail in an increasingly hostile world.

We are Americans. I remember a quote from a 1960’s TV Show starring E.G Marshall called the Defenders. You can google it for more information but it started with a quote that I will always remember: “Democracy is a very bad form of government but all the rest are so much worse.” Now, I know that the United States has a representative form of government but the quote still holds true. Our system of government is truly inefficient, problem filled, and, at times, extremely frustrating for all parties involved. The United States is still the greatest country in the world as can be seen by all the millions of people who are trying to get in.

I put the “America: The Land of the Free and Home of the Brave” Quote on the Flag in the featured image for a reason. We are the Home of the Free but to remain the free, we will need to be the Home of the Brave. It is going to take courage to get through these challenging and changing times. Let’s commit ourselves as a nation to get this job done.

One final point, our Verbal Defense & Influences Classes begin with this attempt at establishing a positive social contract. We ask instructors and class attendees to agree to this foundational principle. “Do we agree to treat each other with dignity and show each other respect – even though we may disagree?” We then all confirm our agreement by giving the traditional “thumbs up” hand gesture. Perhaps we should start more of our political discussions, workplace interactions, and family talks with this pre-meeting expectation contracting. Disrespect doesn’t lead to collaboration, cooperation, or even long term compliance.

What do you think? Can I get a thumbs up as means to enhance our country rather than disrupting it?